You oaf Aaargh Cup
Friday, December 19, 2008 at 8:57PM
spooky in UEFA Cup, gilberto, gomes, match preview

Well that was almost an unmitigated disaster. Thanks to the magic of Gilberto. Brazilian, in case you've forgotten. And a defender, allegedly. 6 games since joining about a year ago and he will be best remembered for being half-time substituted thanks largely due to his ridiculously bad impacts on the game.

One ball, two players, neither go for the ball, the Russian squeezes in and makes it a threesome, and oops, there it goes under Gomes body for 0-1. Total football. Totally laughable football, and this time you can hardly blame Gomes, although you'd think one of them would say 'ITS MINE'. In Brazilian you'd think.

The second goal (scored again by Dzjuba, a lively tricky little player) is worth mentioning for the way he ghosted pass Zokora to slot after rounding Gomes. 0-2. Goodbye Europe. But along comes half-time. Good old trustworthy half-time. And off goes Gilberto after his not so Braziliant cameo. And from Harry's post-match comments I doubt we'll ever see him again in a Spurs shirt. Maybe we can box him up and send him first class to Monaco. I'll pay the sodding postage if you want.

Second half was about 100% better, in our favour. Enter Lennon and his accompanying Mazy Run™ resulting with a cut-back and Modric (finally) scoring for Spurs. Dzjuba should have got a hattrick from a wonderful Zokora pass, but didn't. Enter Bale and a more than decent cross and a stunning Huddlestone header. 2-2. With NEC scoring a couple, this was a lucky escape, as defeat would have meant the end. We finished up second in the table and now face Shakhtar Donetsk, which is no easy task. And if we somehow manage to fluke past that we've got to contend with either CSKA Moscow or Aston Villa. Tasty. Shakhtar have six Brazilians in their squad. Maybe if we re-direct that package from Monaco to the Ukarine......

Anyway, lowest attendance of the season at the Lane for this wont-be-appearing-on-dvd Cup game. Shame on us. We'll be mistaken for Newcastle next. 28,000 or so in a 55,000 stadium (looking ahead) is Sunderlandesque. I guess to get the glory hunters on board we need to get into the Champions League. And the chances of that with this paper-thin squad is 0%.

Article originally appeared on Dear Mr Levy (http://dml23.squarespace.com/).
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