How long has it been since the last Spurs/Titanic joke? Is it ok for me to make yet another reference? Hell, of course it is. If all the tabloids can photo-shop Ramos and Poyet's heads onto Di Caprio and Winslet then I can make cheap joke after cheap joke too.

See, if you think the starting eleven was the first thing at the club to hit rock bottom, then you've guessed wrong, because the £4000 Opus sank to the depths a fair while ago.

You remember the Opus, right? It's the book that can't be read without gloves. Its that huge heavy glossy thing that makes an appearance at half-time at the Lane every other week, along with a former 'legend' who marvels at the sheer volume of its content. You might have bought a £2 raffle ticket in the vein attempt to win it, because you forgot the four grand loose change you usually keep in your back pocket when visiting the Spurs shop.

The Opus. The Huddlestone of books. Have you ever seen it move? I'm going to hazard a guess and say they've given away more than they've managed to sell. Credit crunch and all, I can't even see the Merc driving West-Standers forking out their Sterling for this coffee-table-breaking monstrosity.

It's cursed. And its bloated. Testament to the Levy/Comolli partnership.