It’s all quiet on the Western front at the moment. Haven't had much time to visit the Lodge recently, but intend to do so in the next few days, especially with all the transfer gossip doing the rounds. SWP is apparently due to make an appearance in the next few days. Also, I need to make an appearance myself – without a utility belt and camouflage clothing – to prove that I am not presenting myself with the purpose to incite any legal proceedings.

The League of Lilywhites is a long term project, so will once more update you all with the current membership standings and a preview of the agenda. Also hope to unveil the badge of honour.

The season isn’t too far off now. I suppose the current tranquillity is nothing more than the calm before the storm. There’s no point in shooting my load too soon. Best to wait till after both 'pipes' have been cleaned out and I lean forward for the moneyshot. Levy will get it in the face. If deserved of course. And that’s in a bad way, not a ‘well done, here’s the prize baby’ way. I know that the moneyshot is deemed demeaning in porn, but within the fantasy it’s meant to be what the taker wants from the giver. In this case, the moneyshot is my fury and aiming it a Levy is for the purpose of demonstration and disapproval, something he doesn't want the displeasure of wiping away from his face. If Spurs do badly, then Levy will get it from me. Not an actual moneyshot. I'm talking about a stern letter and possibly graffiti on the West Stand. So in this case my moneyshot is made of A4 paper and paint. Not quite pineapple but the aim is to leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

Look, my point is that Levy should be on guard. Just because it’s a little sleepy at the moment and my visits to his estate are non-existent, it doesn’t mean that I’m not ready to pounce, like a jaguar with a hard-on. By hard-on, I’m talking metaphorically...